I will be skinny. I will be skinny. I will be skinny. Need to say it out loud, cause sometimes I seem to forget. I guess one binge now and then is acceptable, but one often turns into three or five, and before you know it, you've put on a few pounds. Not this time round, I won't allow myself. Fallen down that hill too many times before.
If being skinny is pretty much the one thing I want more than anything right now, and it is indeed something I can easily do about it - why do I find it so hard?
My mother's always thought I was fat, so she's delighted that I'm on a calorie restricted diet to be honest. I do tell her I'm eating 600 a day, which is a total lie, but I figured giving her the actual numbers would trigger her thoughts: I should protest to that cause it's not technically good, but secretly she'd be delighted. I don't actually live with her as I'm at uni and I live with my older sister, but so far she's uncontrollably happy with my rapid weight loss. She's a bit twisted like that, but hey! I'll take whatever support I can get.
My sister on the other hand likes to criticise it, but she's just pissed she always fails her diet, so she secretly doesn't want me to succeed. And then there's my boyfriend - my amazing boyfriend who doesn't like bones. I mostly live with him to be honest, as he has his own flat. He wants me to be happy obviously, so he's ok (ish) with me going on a diet, he's just NOT ok with the diet I'm on.
How do you hide it from the people you're close to?
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| THINSPO |
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